Random funny and embarrassing tidbits about me:
1). I won’t eat mayonnaise. I associate it with male cum you see in porn videos. It makes me gag.
2). I have no desire to be a man. I do; however, have a list I made of all the funny things I would do if I had a penis. (Examples: play helicopter, play ring toss, use as pointing device, see how many donuts would fit on it, etc).
3). When I was 19 years old I danced full male drag at a gay club. The outfit consisted of short hair, breasts wrapped, rolled up socks in my pants, leather pants, biker boots, and cologne. I made over $60 and was asked to come back. I didn’t go back as drag.
4). When I was younger and started having sex I had an embarrassing fear that either his penis or a toy would get stuck in my pussy.
5). My first female crush was a school nurse. She’s now my best friend.
6). One night my step-sister and I tried to sneak out for a party. We slid out a boarded window we made. My father was standing there waiting. I ran over, jumped in the bed, and tried to pretend I had been sleepwalking.
7). I showed up on a blind date completely wasted. I thought my passenger side door was broke and tried to climb out the window. My foot got stuck. I ended up hanging upside down with my shirt over my head, breasts in the air, screaming for my friend to help me. Asshole let me hang while he was laughing. The blind date saw it. Obviously, it didn’t work out. The door wasn’t broke, it was locked. I was too drunk to realize.
8). I was interrupted during sex by the police.
9). My first restrained me to a bed at a hotel. The headboard was cheaply made. I broke the headboard trying to get my hands on her.
10). The first girl that told me she liked me I tried to be smooth and fell down two flights of stairs.
11). I tried to impress a woman at a roller rink and broke my wrist.
12). I am outspoken online and in my real life with men. I am extremely bashful and can be easily made to blush by women.
13). I rarely watch porn. My imagination runs extreme even though my kinks don’t. I once brought myself to orgasm using only my mind.
14). I was a troublemaker when I was younger. I once drank alcohol out of a Pepsi can with my friend while in the principal’s office getting suspended for fighting.
15). I talk in my sleep.
16). (Number 15). Two years ago, after I accidentally fell asleep at a fuck buddy’s house, I had a dream about a friend and said her name.
17). I have an extremely high libido.
18). I had sex at the end of a cemetery once. I straddled her in the thunderbird and when I leaned back in excitement knocked the vehicle out of park. We ran over a “no outlet” sign. Sex in a vehicle is not as glamorous or easy as young people imagine.
19). I had a sex toy delivered to my old job because the delivery kept missing me at home for my signature. I told my coworkers the package contained computer parts.
20). I absolutely hate the idea of any hair on my body. I’m always clean shaven everywhere except my arms and my head. I imagine if it didn’t look weird, I would shave my arms.
*If you like any of these find they brighten your day let me know I may do similar future posts*
