I was asked by a friend I was seeking advice from if I can “live in the moment”. It occurred too me that living in the moment is something I have always struggled with in life. I think the reason for this is because from a very young age I have always been on my own fighting for tomorrow.
When I was old enough and strong enough to fight back against my childhood abuser, I ran away from home with only the clothes on my back. For a brief period I had to constantly fight to figure out how I was going to make money, where my next meal was going to come from, and where I was going to sleep that night. I didn’t have the option of living in the moment.
In one way or another, it has always been me against the world. I took off that day on foot alone and I’ve pretty much always been that way. For the majority of my daughter’s life, I was a single low-income mother working full-time and pulling odd jobs to feed my family. Even in the times when I wasn’t single either it was on my shoulders to take care of things or I took it upon myself automatically. Don’t get me wrong I have had friends step up and give me a helping hand along the way on a few occasions and I am forever grateful for the kindness and generosity they showed me. I don’t know what I would have done without them.
The point is I’ve never had the luxury of not having to plan for tomorrow that I can remember. I’m not sure I know how too really. So as it turns out I guess I am a bit of a control freak when it comes to planning for the future. What about you? Are you an in the moment type of person or one who has to have a plan?