I was being a brat. I was joking around. I wanted to distract her. I sent the photo. Not just any photo; a very explicit photo. Something I have never done.
Damn, that backfired! A wave of vulnerability hit me like a brick wall. As soon as it was out there I wanted to take it back. I underestimated how confronting it would feel. I tried to squirm away; backtrack. I assumed she would let me.
“Is that my pretty?”
I saw the question. I froze. I held my breath… Silence on the other end. Good, she’s still distracted doing other things.
A few minutes passed and she asked again. I was nervous and in my head. The second time didn’t register. Besides, she never presses when I don’t answer, right?
Fuck! I can’t! I can’t say it. She will see me. It’s too much! I squirm. I’m embarrassed. And…what the hell…am I turned on?! Please, please don’t press.
“I have asked you twice. Does your cunt belong to me?” Oh my god, she didn’t just ask me that.
“Yes Ma’am it’s your pretty” I answered. I’m extremely wet. I want to hide my face. I want to crawl into a hole and hide.
“If I was there and that happened… you would have been pushed against a wall and fucked into a puddle”
The room spins out of control. I’m dizzy. I can’t breathe! Am I holding my breath? I stare at the screen. I stare at her. I stare at the words. My heart threatens to beat out of my chest. My body trembles violently. I can’t move. I can’t think. I feel her. I feel her standing over me.
Say something Mystic! Say anything. I can’t. I stare at her. I hear my breath. I hear my heart racing. I’m watching her every word as if each word holds all of life’s answers. And slowly, a little at a time, as she spoke I came back.
It was the most intense experience I have ever felt.